Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts

Finished!

>> Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Well, I've done it. I've graduated!  This morning I received the email stating that my degree has been conferred, and my diploma will be received through the mail in 2-4 weeks. I am now officially in possession of a Bachelors of Science in Child Development with a specialization in Preschool.  Anyone have any kids for me to teach?

Many, many thanks to my wonderful husband for your encouragement and support and excitement when applicable, to my enrollment advisor Scott for enrolling me, to the accommodating directors of local preschools who let me observe in their classrooms, to my wonderful friends who have kids who let me observe in their homes, and to all my other friends as well for being supportive and caring about my future.  And finally, though first of all really, thanks God for arranging my life to make this work. THANK YOU.


And now on to bigger and... well... different things! 

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The habit of feeling

>> Thursday, January 6, 2011

I'm now in my final countdown for school. My final day of class, which they count as my official graduation date, is a week from Sunday. For this week's homework, I did three different self-analysis worksheets to determine my level of skill in a wide range of teacher-related areas so that I can develop my career plan.

While working through the questions, (most of which didn't apply because I need to be currently working in a classroom in order to answer them,) I came across this statement: "Becoming a Professional: I identify with and conduct myself as a member of the early childhood education profession." My immediate response was, "I'm sorry, I'm a what?"

Twelve years ago I failed to complete my college education. Two years later I fell into a part-time position in an elementary school, and my first teaching semester was a disaster by many accounts. A few years of administrative assisting and I found myself once again back in the classroom, but this time it was challenging and exciting and working with the children filled me with joy.

But I always knew that I didn't have any training. I had three years of college English, so I knew I could teach beginning reading and writing. I have an instinct for children's needs and fun ways to teach things like math and science - if we toss out the curriculum - but I knew that I was leaving out important things and truly feel that I was one major player in the way the school ended. Had I focused and prioritized, had the uncomfortable conversations, and told the whole truth regardless of the discomfort it would cause others, we may have pulled through. I described myself as a teacher, but I knew I was lying as surely as we know the sun has risen even when it's storming. I was just saying it to make myself feel better, to rationalize the heart and soul and sweat and tears that went into that job. Because if I couldn't say I was a teacher, the other terms that applied weren't at all complimentary.

That job ended when Lanse's did, and we moved here, where I tried to explain to potential employers that I was a teacher, but not really, but sort of. Tried to cover my internalized incompetence with the words "apprentice" and "teamwork". In the end, it was unanimous: I have applicable skills, and lots of potential, but I don't have my degree. I'm not really a teacher. Sorry. Best of luck.

So I went back to school. And now, after 12 years of feeling incompetent, I will be allowed - encouraged - to be a professional teacher, seen from every angle. Yet, I can't see it. Feeling incompetent has become a habit that I can't seem to drop. Me? Capable? From a science-fiction perspective, I imagine it's like standing on another planet vastly different from ours and being hit anew with the shock every three minutes or so, thrilled and excited with the scenery but desperately confident (and terrified) that you'll wake up any second now. It would require the kind of internal change that, right now, I can't even fathom. To live in the habit of feeling confident and capable is as foreign to me as the scenery on that far off planet.

Rumor tells that habits can be broken. Someone, somewhere, stated that it takes only three weeks of focused attention to the habit-replacement before it sticks. So I guess that by the end of January I need to somehow adopt the habit of feeling capable. Somehow I need to change my mind, so that I can change my answers from "Needs Improvement" to "Highly Accomplished". 

Aside from turning my thoughts inward and smacking those negative thoughts down a hundred times a minute for three weeks - or having a real job doing these things - I really don't know how to do it.

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Transition time again

>> Friday, December 10, 2010

Another major transition point is on the horizon. We can see it, though there's some stuff along the road that we need to get through before riding off into its sunset.

Transitions annoy me because each time they unsettle me more than the last time, while simultaneously exciting me about new potentials. They exhaust me, fill me with fear, and fill me with joyful anticipation and the ability to satisfy my logical self in planning and organization, though this time I think I'm leaning more heavily on the fear side simply because I can't visualize what's coming next. Less possible planning equals less overall excitement.

Some of these transitions are not pleasant. Our cat, Colin, is still ill and will not recover, though he's soldiering on very well... until this past week, when he started having major problems with one of his teeth. It's falling out, but not pleasantly and with lots of blood, causing him to claw at his face and go a bit insane on occasion. We know it hurts because he started biting us today (firmly, while not breaking the skin) to let us know he wasn't happy. We will be taking him in to the vet this afternoon, but since he's ill and on meds we don't know if he's going to make it through the dental, for which they will probably have to sedate him. So either this transition will happen tonight, or he'll make it through the dental and the transition will continue slowly over the next month or two. Either way, we're trying to keep up with the emotional adjustments.

Some of these transitions are exciting and potentially happy, though also somewhat apprehensive. We received our letter stating that our home study is approved and cleared and we can start the search (again). Our social worker will be (date unknown) sending it on to the county foster care office for their part of the drama, but we're that much closer. Once they're done with it and we know what else we need to do, we'll begin being parents. Theoretically. We're collecting up whatever supplies we can find; thankfully, a lot of our friends have children this age and have been giving us some things their child has grown out of, so we've got a good start. Many foster kids may come here with just what they're wearing, and will take with them anything we give them, so we'll be needing pretty consistent restocking of baby and toddler clothes. We're hoping to go with cloth diapers and mostly homemade baby food (though we're not quite as sold on that one) so it'll basically be the clothes and toothbrushes we'll have to keep replacing. (If you feel led to donate your gently worn baby stuff to a worthy cause, feel free!) 

Finally, I've begun my final class for school. My graduation day is officially the last day of class, though commencement is in July, and that last day of class is the day after my 34th birthday. (Talk about another transition. I feel old!) My course right now is a process of summarizing the last three years, researching a variety of occupations I could chose with this degree, and writing a resume and cover letter for some of them. In other words, this six-week course is mostly a focus on 'what are you going to do next?' Since that's completely dependent on what happens with the foster care, and so far "Foster Parent" isn't a paid occupation available to research, I'm having a lot of emotional upheaval already in the first week. I've gone back to school to actually learn and become a better teacher and person. I get extremely frustrated when my schoolwork can't be applied to my real life, and so I try to find ways to be honest and make it real even when it's a stretch. In this case I'll have to either consider the possibility I will not be a parent OR that I will not have a career, OR make the decision to completely BS this class. None of those sit well with me. And I'm still firmly stuck in the fact that if for some reason there are no children to place with us come January, I'll have a degree that I won't feel safe getting a full-time job with in case we do get a child, and I'll have no idea what the immediate future holds. In other words, all those times we get the question "Where do you see yourself in five years?" is really boiling down to the fact that I can't see where I'll be in two months, and that is really extremely unsettling. It's kind of strange having an exact date for it, too... "On January 17, 2011, I will wake up to a completely new life, and I have no idea what it is." Weird.

So... it's transition time. I think maybe I need to start creating a Plan C so I don't go insane. For now, though, I think I'll go write a paper and get this show on the road.

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The arts in education

>> Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Somewhere I have a blog wherein I have occasionally posted thoughts I've written for school.  Some day I'll figure out where it is and combine everything into something more functional. Until then, I felt that this topic brought up enough emotional heat that I'd just share it with the rest of you! 

Definition: "The Arts" in my textbook includes visual arts (painting, sculpting, etc.), music, movement, dance, and theatre.

The assignment:  "What responsibility, if any, do early childhood professionals have to advocate for arts education in a community’s public schools? Explain your views.  Then choose one area of the arts and describe an argument you would use to make a case for a visual arts, music education, or creative movement program for children of all ages."

This subject is one in which I struggle to productively structure my thoughts because it simply seems too obvious. As educators we must somehow reach into every child and trigger motivation and a love of learning. People, regardless of age, are extremely complex creations. We know that people have different strengths and weaknesses and different ways of viewing the world, and that identifying and strategizing with each of these unique things is the key to accomplishing our goals with our students. To leave out the arts - visual arts, music, movement, dance, and theatre - excludes a significant segment of children from the potential of success. In a developmentally appropriate classroom that meets every child's needs, the arts must be available in equal measures with other styles of learning.


Not only do children often express their conscious thoughts, as well as process learning, by working creatively with their hands and bodies, but research has shown that the arts tap into a deeper subconscious that allows children to process things of which they are unaware. Music and visual arts are often used in therapeutic settings for children recovering from trauma or learning to cope with severe disabilities, emphasizing the vital importance of these methods of interaction (Kozlowska & Hanney, 2001), (Carpente, 2002). Allowing children daily experience with this part of their minds and souls gives them the opportunity to more easily access these areas in times of trouble or difficulty, and feel safe within themselves throughout those learning processes.

In the same way that some people learn best by listening, or learn best by seeing pictures, or learn best by reading text, other people learn best through a connection to music. In infancy, sounds enter the brain before the eyes are able to properly intake vision. Extremely young children are able to process and acknowledge differences in tones and pitches, and learn to identify individuals by their voices before they are able to see them clearly. Sound, and the processes of it through music, relates to our earliest natural abilities to learn. Many people find it much easier to memorize facts as lyrics to songs. The structure of sung speech imitates sound patterns required for developing strong reading skills. Many songs for young children are fundamental early literacy elements, such as rhymes and poetry, put to music.

I was somewhat dismayed, however, to see how little attention our textbook gave to the ways in which music links to more concrete elements. The structures of music follow the same structures of beginning mathematics, providing patterns and repetitions, the abilities to compare, contrast, and serialize in audio form, and the rhythms necessary for counting and number sense. "Early childhood educators, knowing that math and music share similar inherent characteristics, can use simple musical elements to introduce mathematical concepts, interactions, and ideas to infants, toddlers, and preschoolers" (Geist & Geist, 2008, p. 21).

Music also creates a direct link to science learning, as children can study sound itself, experiment with what kinds of substances carry sound and how, and learning about physiology and the ears, as well as developing empathy for the deaf and hard of hearing. Experiments can be done such as at the end of the movie, "Mr. Holland's Opus", in which orchestra music is translated into colored lights for the deaf audience.

Music instruction goes far beyond simply being enjoyable, providing the opportunity to move the body, and putting early literacy to melody. It also goes beyond easy integration into other content areas. Music is another area in which people are able to express the deepest emotions and thoughts, that carries the hopes and dreams of many cultures. By providing daily music education, our children can have another avenue through which they are valued and know that they are able to express their true selves and be accepted.

References:
Carpente, J.A. (2002). Creative Music Therapy with a Boy with Multiple Impairments: Stepping out of isolation into new experiences. The Rebecca Center for Music Therapy. Retrieved from http://www.therebeccacenter.org/library/casestudy1.html

Geist, K., & Geist, E.A. (2008). Do re mi, 1-2-3, that's how easy math can be. Using music to support emergent mathematics. Young Children. National Association for the Education of Young Children.

Kozlowska, K. & Hanney, L. (2001). An Art Therapy Group for Children Traumatized by Parental Violence and Separation. Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry, January 2001; vol. 6, 1: pp. 49-78.

Prairie, A. P., Isbell, R. T., & Raines, S. C. (2010). Teaching across the content areas: Math, science and the creative arts (Laureate Education, Inc., custom ed.). Mason, OH: Cengage Learning.

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November

How in the world is it November already?  Seriously, folks, slow down! 

That said, we've only had the heat on for less than a week, and now today's high is 75 degrees, and we're out on the porch in short sleeves. It really is quite lovely, and gives us a great opportunity to air out the house.

I'm feeling a little bit better, but not a whole lot. The cough has changed, so I guess that's a good thing?  I don't know. But it's finally getting to wear on my very last nerve. Ah, well.  At least I can sleep laying down again.

This week is very stressful. Tomorrow morning we have the Certified Investigator coming for our first of two long homestudy interviews (more info on the adoption blog). Lanse is on crunch time at work, and is extremely stressed out from that. We're travelling for the holiday, so I'm trying to work ahead on my schoolwork, which means that Thursday I'm doing a classroom observation two weeks early, which necessitates me getting two weeks of reading done by then. And Colin is still very sick, and we're extremely unsettled about what could potentially happen while we're away, with pretty much every possibility. I also have to finish up creating some things that I need to take with us when we go.

That said, I'm relatively cheerful, and we've been having a lot of wonderful time with the Eastvolds (our goddaughter and her family). We'll be cat sitting for their new cat Napoleon while they're away this weekend, and that should be fun. He's very playful and snuggly. I'm also very much enjoying the reading I have in school, which is about the importance of the arts in early childhood education. Very cool stuff. So over all, I guess things are going well enough. We are definitely blessed.

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A summer summary

>> Friday, July 30, 2010

Well, I was going to split this up so it was easier to tag, but I'm getting tired of typing, so here's the jist:

  • Our eldest cat, Colin, age 13, is in the midst of liver failure. Yes, this is the second time, but this time through we got x-rays, and there's a large mass of something - could be inflammation from an infection, curable, or it could be cancer - that's made his liver twice the width it should be and smooshed his stomach to one side.  Lanse is heroically suffering the three daily doses of sticking his fingers in Colin's mouth to shove the pills down, and we're desperately trying to get food down him as well.  We may be talking days, weeks (the vet gave us 3 weeks worth of pills), or months, but probably not longer than that unless it actually is the very less-probable cureable infection. This has been an extremely difficult few days and we're steeling for the worst.
  • My childhood friend's baby girl passed away after one hour of life. Now it appears that another friend may have lost her grandson. (We're trying to decipher her FB status, but that's how everyone is reading it.) 
  • Less devastating, but still vital, there is something wrong with my computer (Victoria)'s power source at the motherboard. If it's on it will stay on, but if the cord is bumped accidentally and it shuts off (dead battery) it may not come back on again.  So I've spent the week burning disks of photos. Our friend Donna Rae wanted to sell her 1 yr old Asus Netbook for half what it's listed for on Amazon so that she could get an iPad, so we made a deal.  I'm still in the midst of transferring data from Victoria over to Abigail the Netbook.
  • Once again, it's classroom observation time for my coursework. The school that I've observed in before and I'm excited about (and who wants to interview me for a position once she figures out how things shake down for September) doesn't have students this week or next, so they're out. But the director recommended another school that runs year round, extended hours, at the hospital downtown. So we'll go drive the route on Saturday and I'll get more familiar with the local educational system and they'll... hopefully... get excited about me.  Building connections is always a good thing in this field.
  • We spent July 4th week (prior) in Rochester again. Had a wonderful time visiting Lanse's immediate family, uncle, aunt, and cousins, and those we consider heart family. Saw a lot of our prior neighbors Tim, Susan, and four-year-old Sammy, visited a couple of times with our Pastor-of-choice and his wife, drove an hour to visit my bestest friend Ana (prior co-worker), got together with some prior students of mine, crashed gaming night with our prior group of crazy gamers, ate sushi and ice cream with John StRigger, and drove around reminiscing and spending way too much money on food at our favorite places. Over all it was very good, obviously inspiring over-use of the word "prior". It was extremely emotionally stressful as well, but we spent the week discussing the pros and cons of living in various places, and when we were home we realized we are content here until God says "go". So that, in itself, is invaluable.  Photos are currently on Victoria and may not all get over here. 
  • We now like sushi.  I'm hoping my new-food-crazy dies down before we find ourselves with mercury poisoning.
  • I planted our biggest container veggie garden ever this year.  Almost everything has died because of the heat, and for some unknown reason we've only had two tomatos actually grow and turn red-ish out of four plants. No idea what's going on there.  I ordered the vacation pot-soaker hose kit from Amazon to see if it'll do better with more water when I don't want to go out in the heat, but it may already be too late.
  • Our friends, the Eastvolds, had their baby girl (4th child) the day we left for NY.  They have asked us to be her godparents!  We're very excited and have been spending a bunch of time over at their house.  Her name is Juliana Charis Pinkney Eastvold, and she's beautiful, even when she has the hiccups... which is almost all the time. Her three siblings (all age 5 and under) are adjusting as expected.
I guess that's it for now.  Back to listening to the Dave Ramsey show streaming online.  I highly recommend it, if you can get past him insulting people.

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The problem with kids these days...

>> Sunday, April 11, 2010

Following is the text of what I submitted for this week's Discussion assignment on the status of play.  Free play is required for children to be healthy developmentally in all areas, but many kids aren't given that option. When kids don't get the chance to decide on their own how they will play, they lose the ability to make specific kinds of decisions and navigate diplomacy, a skill called "executive function". This lack causes severe difficulties and behavior problems. This text is my reaction to the articles assigned on the topic. They were really quite fascinating; I'll link them at the end.
***

Throughout our readings there has been a continuing theme that perhaps could use a different perspective. Each article has addressed a similar variety of potential issues that have lead to the situation in which we find ourselves today regarding play. However, these issues have been presented simply as causes, and not truly confronted head-on as the source of the issue. The problem here is not a debate over what is appropriate for our children. The problem really has nothing to do with the children at all... it's the adults.

Many children are no longer allowed to free play because of physical danger; either they have no safe outdoor place to play or the indoor environment is not safe to navigate unguided. In other words, parents are afraid of harm, and therefore assert control over where and how their children play.

Many children do not free play while at home because parents believe they must interact with their child but don't have time to do so, and so they turn on the TV or computer. In other words, parents are afraid of what other people will think if they say no to a request and schedule more time around their children. And so they assert control through where the children are and what they're doing so that they (the parent) does not need to be present.

Many children are overbooked through activities and events to the point of creating stress disorders. This happens because parents may be afraid of what other parents think, or are afraid that they are not good enough parents, instead of being secure in the knowledge that they are smart and intelligent people who can learn about children and be confident about what is right for their own child. In response to that fear, they micromanage every moment of their child's day.

The fact that play is being eliminated from classrooms across the country stems from an adult fear that the children will not meet up to the world's expectations; not only when they are adults, but also as children. Our world is so overly competitive in a way that children don't naturally understand, and so adults push them in a reflection of their own fear of failure. This fear of failure, of the potential of not living up to the rest of the world, causes adults to control academic requirements and school responsibilities to assert the potential to win.

My opinion is that the best way to fix this problem is world-wide therapy sessions! Seriously though, the pattern of fear --> control is one that arises in many areas of life, in overprotective parenting, in disorders and crimes, in dysfunctional marriages, in struggling businesses, in political budgets. While a certain amount of fear is healthy and instinctive, I believe our technological age and city living has led to a loss of real areas in which we were not meant to control, but merely to observe and learn. Living as we do, we have more time for introspection and emotional connection to our fears, and less practice letting things be as nature intends. Humankind has been successfully navigating life for millions of years, but not until recently has living become relatively easy for most. We've become soft and squeamish as a society, and allowed our fears to overtake us.

In order to let our children play, to learn and develop naturally as children were created to do, adults (parents, teachers, and lawmakers included) must step back from their fear and release control. They must allow for the possibility that a child may get poked with the stick they swing, that they might get muddy or bitten by mosquitoes in the creek, or that they might experience the pain of a friend calling them names. As most of our resources have pointed out, living through and learning from experiences like these lead us to understand how to navigate life and to be successful in our future. Depriving our children of these opportunities in the name of avoiding potential harm will instead create a whole new range of developmental problems, and a society in which adults no longer understand how to interact appropriately with one another.


List copied from our "Resources" tab for Modules 1 & 2 from Walden University:
(Sorry for the wonky formatting)

Required Resources
Supplemental Resources

  • Web Article: Taking Play Seriouslyhttp://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/17/magazine/17play.html?_r=2

  • Web Article: Creative Play Makes for Kids in Control
    http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=76838288

  • Video: Stuart Brown: Why Play is Vital--No Matter Your Agehttp://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/stuart_brown_says_play_is_more_than_fun_it_s_vital.html

  • Web Article: Recess and the Importance of Playhttp://w4.nkcsd.k12.mo.us/~rbeckett/RECESS%20AND%20THE%20IMPORTANCE%20OF%20PLAY.htm


  • Introduction 
    Organized Activities Marginalizing Free Time 
    Technological Innovations 
    Web Article: The Impact of Home Computer Use on Children’s Activities and Developmenthttp://www.futureofchildren.org/futureofchildren/publications/docs/10_02_05.pdf
    Increased Focus on Academics
    • Web Article: Another Look at What Young Children Should be Learninghttp://www.ericdigests.org/2000-1/look.html
    • Web Article: Should Preschools Teach All Work and No Play?http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20056147 
    • Web Article: No Outdoor Play Hurts Childrenhttp://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6986544.stm 
    • Web Article: Alliance for Childhood Campaigns to Take Pressure off Children http://www.southerncrossreview.org/35/alliance.htm 
    • Web Article: The Three R’s: A Fourth is Crucial, Too: Recesshttp://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/24/health/24well.html 
    • Web Article: Recess and the Importance of Playhttp://w4.nkcsd.k12.mo.us/~rbeckett/RECESS%20AND%20THE%20IMPORTANCE%20OF%20PLAY.htm 
    • Video: Immersionhttp://video.nytimes.com/video/2008/11/21/magazine/1194833565213/immersion.html

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      End of July news

      >> Sunday, August 2, 2009

      There's really not much; I'm in Applied Math right now, and finding how much I really enjoy it even when it's hard. I was one of those obnoxious students who found school easy, even in High School, in everything except math. Of course, as one of those people, if it's hard it means you hate it... and I've always thought I hated math. But when I was teaching elementary math it started to be fun, and I found ways to do it differently. So now that I'm back in a college math course, I'm usually able to work for a while, take a break, get frustrated... and then really relish the victory when I figure it out. It's a good thing. I never liked challenges, school being easy made me lazy and proud of it. Now I'm kind of liking the challenge.

      We're refinancing the house, finally, with the government help to banks for folks upsidedown on the mortgage (lost equity in the economy thing). That should close Tuesday.

      We had new friends from church come over for lunch last week and we had a fabulous time. It's so good to find kindred spirit friends. They stayed a few hours, we had good food and lots of conversation and the kids were really good.

      Spent a great time visiting my cousins last night. Good times. My one cousin lives here, but we don't see them very often because they're so busy. Her sister and her kids came to visit this week, so we had dinner over there. They'll be coming sometime this week for lunch too.

      Otherwise, my bean plants finally have blooms, one pepper rotted but we picked the other one (haven't eaten it yet) and there's three new blooms, the onions are still kind of tall seedlings, I don't know if those will work out. We've eaten three tomatoes and there's four more green ones growing. I'm praying desperately that we avoid the rampant tomato blight that's killing the crops; one source said that it started with seedlings sold from Home Depot, Lowes, KMart and Target, and we got ours at Home Depot before the recall. Some leaves look strange, but the tomatoes look okay so far.

      I woke up with a light headache today that I thought was tension in my neck, so I took an ibuprofen. Half hour later I got migraine symptoms, but can't take my migraine meds because I took the ibuprofen and they interact. I have to wait until the ibuprofen's worn off. So I'm missing church with only vague feeling in my hand and a small bit of pain starting to creep in my head. I love my mother's family enormously, but I really wish they'd refrained from passing along this little bit of genetics.

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      Boredom la-dee-dah... TOOMUCHTODO!!

      >> Friday, April 17, 2009

      So life was trucking along on a relatively even pace when it was suddenly stunned by everything happening at once. (Thus, of course, I blog. *heh*)

      **************
      Nicholas arrives tomorrow and will be around until Tuesday, I think. This is a very good thing. We have many ideas but no plans, which is typically how everyone around here likes things. He is bringing our kayak and some paddles, but we have nowhere to store it and no roof rack to actually get it to water. We're hoping to replicate Steve's "hang it from the garage rafters" scenario for storage. Of course we got a car that doesn't come with roof rack as an option, so we'll have to dig up the cash for a custom fitted one. We'll see how all that goes.
      **************
      I ended my last class with a 98.23%. It's sufficient. *heh* Started a new one this week on "Children, Family, and Community", and it seems to be ok... though repeating a lot of stuff we've already had, and not to much more depth than the first time. But we'll see. It's an instructor I haven't had, and she seems to be rather hands-off right now. It's her first term teaching for Walden, though she's taught many years in a community college. I wish I was more optimistic.
      **************
      We are going through the Anglican class, which ends in Adult Confirmation. In order to be confirmed, you have to have first been baptized. There has been a family story that said when I was an infant, a Catholic family member got permission and a vial of Holy water and baptized me in the kitchen sink, since there was doubt about my continuing existence. My parents (being of the 'baptizing is for adults' vein) taught me that it didn't really count. They also taught me that communion was acceptable to take when I was old enough to understand it. In the church we currently attend, they accept infant baptisms and require baptism for taking of communion. I've been content with that thus far. However, because the Confirmation is a rite with the Bishop that requires having been baptized, and I was becoming more and more uneasy about not knowing for sure, I called the family member related to the story. Who has no recollection whatsoever and after lengthy discussion it was all agreed that even if it had, the situation 32 years ago would not have warranted the church having any record of it.

      The moral of the story is that next Saturday we will be Dave Ramsey "Sell so much stuff the kids think they're next"ing at Wescott from 7am to 10:45, leaving the table to Jen and running to church for the 11:00 Confirmation rehearsal, running back to Wescott to clean up by 1:00, running home to meet my parents who are driving in from Charlotte, hitting the road for Seabrook by 2:00, and by 4:00 I will be immersed for Baptism in the Atlantic Ocean. Then Sunday morning Lanse and I will be confirmed.

      Anyone who wants to come is welcome, but let us know because Seabrook is gated and we'll need to call in a pass for you.
      **************
      Adoption homestudy update! Which adds a trip to Columbia to the list of things to do in the next two weeks.
      **************
      We also needed to have physicals redone for the homestudy. I called and made the appointment Tuesday morning, went to bed Tuesday night with a sore throat, woke with a fever, and went to the appointment Thursday feeling horrid. Still feel horrid. I'm going out this morning (when I stop typing) to get my medications.
      **************
      Things to do by next Saturday:
      • Pick up meds and med equipment (need a mask for the nebulizer)
      • Get better
      • Finish up stuff to sell at the sale
      • Wrap up last month's budget info and complete this month's (which already started)
      • Write two papers by Sunday night
      • Clean the house for Nick (which is a disaster because of crafting stuff for the sale)
      • Get groceries (we're out of everything)
      • Bake bread (see previous)
      • Do stuff with Nick
      • Purchase and install kayak storage system
      • Possible going away party for a friend tomorrow night
      • Church
      • Tuesday night class
      • Meet with Doug about the baptism
      • Do Week 2 homework (readings, discussion posts x3, 2 papers)
      • Clean the house for my parents
      • Host my parents
      • Travel to Columbia for homestudy stuff?
      • Survive through next weekends' schedule
      • NOT PANIC

      That is all.

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      Thursday Randomness

      >> Thursday, April 9, 2009


      Last night we attended our church's Tenebrae service. Some Anglican and Episcopal congregations do this on Holy Wednesday, but Catholics and others do it on Holy Thursday or Good Friday "The purpose of the Tenebrae service is to recreate the emotional aspects of the passion story..." which went from the story of Judas checking in with the Sanhedrin to set his silver price to the crucifixion of Christ. In the middle were readings from the Old Testament from times when the Israelites were crushed and abandoned and felt forsaken by God. After each reading a candle was extinguished, until only the Christ candle was left; that was removed after the crucifixion and brought back in at the end. In all honesty, I was a bit bored... it was all readings, we sang two hymns that were pretty and solumn but weren't ones that I really emotionally connect to; it was hard to see the litergy and hymn words because it was held by candlelight, and I was focusing (physically and mentally) too hard on following the service to actually internalize it. After the Christ candle was removed from the church (walked out the front door) we said the Lord's Prayer, and that was incredible. It just had a much deeper emotional meaning at that specific point in time. Overall though, I think I've been most affected by the first CRC Tenebrae service that I went to; there was just enough difficulty for me to participate in this one for me to get emotionally involved.

      ********************
      On a much lighter note, Aleta Meadowlark asked this question today in her lovely food blog, Omnomicon: "What are your top 10 herbs and spices?" So I figured I'd share mine, in no particular order. (S&P are a given, btw.)
      1. Garlic Salt
      2. Savory
      3. Rosemary - fresh from the garden
      4. Marjoram - fresh from the garden
      5. Basil - fresh from the garden
      6. Curry Powder
      7. Paprika
      8. Coriander (don't use it often because it's whole and I haven't got a grinder, but I love the flavor.)
      9. Lawry's Season All Season Salt (yeah, I know)
      10. Chives/Green Onion (technically more a vegetable than an herb, but I make it work)
      We're having chicken wraps for lunch, with lots of Lawry's. Yum!

      ********************
      My right foot hurts pretty badly when I walk on it; it's something in putting pressure on my heel that radiates pain down to my toes. Sigh.

      ********************
      I contested a deduction on my last paper of Week 5 (last week), and my instructor changed my grade! Woo! Go Instructor!

      I now have access to my classroom for the new class that starts Monday. It's called "Child, Family and Community Relationships" and is my final course for the 1000 level courses. After this I get to dive into Preschool specific courses. Yay! I have an instructor I haven't had before. We'll see how it goes.
      ********************
      I love watching the bird bath out here when it's a gorgeous day and I've just refilled it and then sat quietly and patiently waiting. Papa Bluebird took a dip a couple times and then got into a fight with another male Bluebird; the finches (I've figured out how to identify between a male house finch and a purple finch! We have both!) did some low swooping but didn't stop, a mockingbird took a drink and bopped around in the leaves for a bit, and two male cardinals chased each other around the tree. There was something enormous in the neighbor's far tree watching it all, but it silhouetted against the sky and I couldn't identify it.

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      Learnin'

      >> Monday, April 6, 2009

      In a burst of uncharacteristic motivation, I spent all last week learning. I learned about Anglicans, I learned about children's health, I learned about Social Services, I learned about Academic Advising, I learned a bit about my instructor, I learned some XML, and I learned about myself.

      'Twas an awful lot of learnin', and it made my brain hurt.

      So I'll try to make this quick:

      • I just might be Anglican by belief, my "baptism" is accepted, I could have it re-affirmed or get confirmed, depending on what I want. There's a recommended church in Charlotte, but it's smack in the downtown and quite a goodly hike from my folks', and they don't have a Saturday evening service. My mom wants us all together for Easter service, as she should; they're very much not Anglican, so we're facing the 'can't please everyone all the time' scenario.
      • Proper nutrition is important, especially in growing kids. Nutrients work together to make the body go. Energy balance is vital.
      • Our case worker has done all her prepping for her 'sit down and write' day, which is sometime this week.
      • I have a new Advisor at school who is very nice, interested about me, and will stick with me til the bitter end. This is a good thing.
      • My instructor, while very intense and perhaps unaware of inconsistencies, has a good heart.
      • XML sucks to learn by doing
      • I love making blogs, I have a very short attention span, I'm resourceful, I'm lazy, I enjoy raw spinach, and I can predict earthquakes with my legs.
      I learned a lot more than that, but really it's all just details.

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      Monday blogging

      >> Monday, March 30, 2009

      Despite most of the world feeling that the best day of the week is Friday, I have recently realized that I look forward to Mondays most. This is because all of my week's homework is due at midnight Sunday night, and I spend all week slacking off and all day Sunday wringing myself ragged speed-writing papers. Monday morning brings the blessed relief of "well, it's too late now" and six days of slacking ahead of me.

      Unfortunately, my current class ends with a bang in the form of a blogging project, and it ends on Easter Sunday night, so I'll be out of town most of that week. Our Application assignments each week have been to write a "blog post" (really a regular academic paper, as that's how she grades it) on some aspect of children's health, and then in the final week we are to revise each week's work and create a health blog, with each weeks' paper being one post. I have a great many personal opinions regarding this project which I will be keeping to myself until my grades are in. Just in case.

      When it comes to blogging, I have a fault: I simply can not just use the provided templates. I have two blogs already, besides this school project, and I spent hours seeking out and tweaking non-blogger-provided templates, grabbing one someone else made up and changing margins and colors and images (with no XML experience, just changing numbers randomly and hitting 'preview' to see what it did, which is why it takes so long). I decided to poke around and see what I could come up with for class even though it's not due for another two weeks, and I'm glad I did. I started putzing with it around 11:00 this morning, and just decided to quit for the night now that I'm satisfied with the general layout.

      After all that work, I just don't see the point of stopping with five Application paper posts, so after class is done I may just use it as a place to ramble on about my schoolwork and what I'm learning. Though this class seems to focus on physical health under the heading of "Child, Safety, Health and Nutrition", everything that I've learned (and rambled on about) so far has to do with the health level of a child in some area of development. And I can't see the point of a 5-post blog. I'd hate to think I just wasted an entire Monday laying out a blog for 2% of my grade.

      Right now the blog is under construction, but if anyone wants to give me feedback, feel free. It's here. Please don't comment on that blog, put it in here. Thanks.

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      Paradigm Shift

      >> Thursday, March 19, 2009

      Every time I think of the word 'paradigm' I relive the Salad Years skit from my Wheaton days. Salad Years was the student TV show, and one skit was two people imitating the Sesame Street two-headed monster doing a compound word thing. They did 'paradigm', except instead of 'para-dime' they said 'para-diggum'. It was amusing. I think you had to be there.

      ("para"...."diggum"...."para"...."diggum"...."PARADIGGUM!" "hey, there goes my dignity!")

      Looovely.

      And also very off-track.

      Anyway, yesterday morning the phone woke me up, which is never a good way to start any day. But the weather was nice, and aside from being groggy I was mostly pleasant. The phone call was Frances from the mortgage company calling to verify when would be a good time to schedule closing on our refinance. She said she was spending the day filling out the forms for us and we'd probably close Thursday (today) or Friday afternoon. This was about... 9:30. OK, great, we've been waiting for a closing date for a month now. Fantastic!

      I go about the morning, doing my morning things, and get ready to settle into schoolwork after lunch. The phone rings, and Frances tells me that not only can we not close on the refinance, but our home didn't even qualify for that loan in the first place. The loan officer was supposed to have checked our property values in their database, which apparently he didn't; so the only way we could continue is if we have a minimum of 10K out of pocket to bring with us. So not cool. So the refinance is cancelled, we're trying to see if we can get our non-refundable application fee (minus the assessment cost) back because the guy should have known we couldn't apply for it. We haven't heard back yet.

      While I was finishing up on the phone with Frances (and trying not to throw my phone through the screen on the porch) our adoption case worker beeped in. She called back when I was off the phone, just to tell us that the homestudy she promised would be done by either last or this Friday hadn't been started yet. I'm not upset, there's good reasons, but I'm disappointed. Check the adoption blog for more details on that call.

      So. Two upsetting and potentially life-changing things; but really it was a matter that in both cases we'd spent the last weeks or months anticipating a more comfortable and responsible moving-forward kind of life. I spent the rest of the day making calls and rearranging our financial goals and realigning my mental concepts of the near future. And relaying this all to Lanse, who was none-too-pleased as I was but processes things differently. It was an... interesting... rest of the day. Aside from a discussion reply or two, schoolwork wasn't part of it. But Lanse allowed an attack of Demon Housekeeper and stress-cleaned the main living areas and our bedroom, a quality of his in which I am very pleased. I just wish stress didn't have to be the trigger.

      Some positive things happened though too. I wrapped up loose ends on the property tax snafu, and we actually can pay our mortgage and live off our income "comfortably" (in quotes, because we personally don't need much to feel comfortable; others would find our budget restrictive) and I finally got our March-April budget sorted out. We don't need the refinance to afford the house, and that's a huge sigh of relief.

      That said, a little bit extra would be a great thing so we can start paying down some loans, so I'm wanting to put a little more focus in the concept of an Etsy shop with my quilting and jewelry stuff. I'm hoping to get the beading ladies at the game store to teach me some cool stuff that I can sell or give with Christmas in mind. Christmas took a big chunk out of our December budget last year, so anything I can do ahead would be good.

      And then there's always schoolwork. Sigh. I suppose I should get to it.

      Read more...

      ?

      >> Sunday, February 22, 2009

      I'm working on writing my final paper for my final class of the term. For whatever reason, I keep accidentally typing '?' instead of '.'. There's apparently something very comforting when I hit the left shift and ? with both pinkies. No idea why. Maybe they're tired of being left out.

      There's also the distinct possibility that '?' pretty much defines my state of being today. It's been one of those '?' days.

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      Catching up... again

      >> Wednesday, February 18, 2009

      I seem to be taking long breaks in blogging now. (Long being, ya know, a few days... which some consider normal...) Anyway. That happens when I get so stressed out that depression slugs me upside the head, and I bury myself in some computer game (thanks Sarah) and convince myself that it's acceptable because there's Real People there! It's a social life.... right? RIGHT?? Ya, right.

      Anyway, the financial problems of yesterweek have been mostly resolved. The property tax form was filed, though we haven't heard back yet. We received our home refinancing packet, I read every single word and wrote down questions, played phone tag, got my questions answered, and put it in the mail. Sallie Mae approved my new school loan even though I didn't finish my FAFSA (apparently the FAFSA is for the new loans in June, and I needed to just renew with Sallie for Spring Term.) FAFSA's waiting on our tax return. Our taxes are nearly done, but we have to wait for the revised property tax form. We made it to the end of our budget cycle without starving. (Well, we did let ourselves get really hungry, Dave would be mad, but only because we had $24 left in grocery for the final two days and didn't want to risk running over if we went to the store.) We realized that between our brick-and-mortar bank and ING we were getting confused and needed all our records in one place, so I spent yesterday uploading everything into Quicken online. Now we can see all our money, which is very nice, but the budget function on Quicken is quite incompatible with the way in which I budget, not to mention that we budget from the 15th and not the 1st because the mortgage takes most of the 1sts paycheck, so it's not transferring budgetary numbers properly for me. Gads, I'm such the nerd.

      Other than that, school term's almost done. This is the last week of Winter term, and I have one short paper to write and a short list of web resources to submit by Sunday night. I'm still pulling a 4.0, but this CD class has been a pain in the behind due to the instructor's lack of presence. Then we have next week off. Yay! So if I finished homework today I could have a week and a half off! (I probably won't.) The following Monday starts Spring term and a course on Childhood Health and Safety, along with its Making Connections "lab" class. Rootin'-tootin' fun, lemme tell ya.

      Spook has finished his meds and is acting much better, which is a huge relief. This was liquid amoxycilin, which I can't spell, but it meant as soon as Lanse squirted it in his mouth, Spook could spit and spray and shake and splatter everything within ten feet with it. While Lanse claims that pilling a cat is harder than this, it's certainly less messy. I'm glad that's done with.

      Next Friday morning we have our Fire inspection and then I head off to our church's Women's Retreat at Camp St. Christopher on the beach. The weekend after that Lanse and I go to Woodlands for our anniversary weekend (which isn't until the end of May but we could get a good deal now because it's off season). So, school vacation + women's retreat + 10th anniversary bed & breakfast... sounds like I'm lined up for some relaxation and refocusing! The timing's definitely good. Also, maybe, all depends, the last chance for some time if God works the adoption stuff quickly.

      Finally, I'm working with our clergy to develop an adoption resource for our church, since a lot of members have adopted or are currently or are somehow otherwise related to it. "We" is pretty much all me for the moment as I organize some resources. Now if only people would get back to me...

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      Good study day

      >> Tuesday, January 13, 2009

      It's gray and rainy, but not too much. It's the perfect day for huddling down with a book. So I have my tea, my comfy pillows, my cats... and my textbook. Today, this is my study area (it was full of cats when I left to get the camera... they left before I got back):



      Jen's coming over after work to help us prepare for the inspection. We love Jen. (We love her husband Luke too, but he's not coming.) In any case, Jen doesn't know it yet (but will when she reads this!) but I'm experimenting on her with dinner. I'll post it later, when we've tasted it.

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      A fresh start...

      >> Monday, January 12, 2009

      In an effort to drag myself out of my depressed crazies with intention, I arranged to make excuse to do my homework at church today. I need a public place to ignore in order to actually focus on what I'm doing. But in order for me to be there, we all felt it was better for me to volunteer and do a couple odd jobs before settling in.

      I arrived a bit after ten, hung out and chatted in the office, punched, collated and finished creation of the latest batch of directories for Cathy McG, finished the pamphlet I volunteered to do on Friday for the C4K project for Cathy J, ate some lunch, got the call to schedule the health inspection, freaked out and called family, and then opened my textbook... to see it was almost 2:00. I read about 10 pages and then came home. Still better than nothing.

      Actually accomplishing helpful work at the church really made me realize how much ministry means to me. I enjoyed working at Grace Covenant with the school so much I know I want to do something like that, but I didn't realize how much of it was ministry work in general... I've focused my degree on the children, which was also a huge part of it, but it's the church environment over all that moves me, and I'd thought it was the classroom. I may start to refine my future plans, just based on this morning. This could be a good thing.

      Then I came home, ate more, zoned out, arranged with mom to maybe get a free living room set (but we have to get a truck to move it from Charlotte, so it won't be ALL free) and then we biked up and down the street. We have a cul-de-sac on each end, so in the end it makes a nice longish ride for me. Plus it was cold, so we kinda booked it home.

      I'm pleased. I think I'll have a much better time being responsible and taking care of myself if I just determine that I'll probably get around to it eventually, but there's no pressure. I work better that way.

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      Good intentions...

      >> Wednesday, January 7, 2009

      Despite yesterday's good intentions, I woke up with the migraine from hell this morning and after I finally dragged out of bed, sat staring comatose at my computer most of the day until just about an hour ago when the drugs finally kicked in. Even so, I've talked to Bert a number of times, got the vet records scanned and emailed, and finally printed out the fire escape route floor plans we have to hang on the wall. I also remembered that our agency has discussion forums, and chatted in there a bit.

      More updated info on the adoption blog, again.

      Just a bit ago, I checked my school communication thing in my classroom to discover that my instructor has actually been adding comments to all my papers throughout the term, in additional text boxes in blue text down the right margin, but none of them have been showing up in my returned graded papers. So all this time I've been upset that she never comments, and she actually has been. But because she started all my papers with a note across the top, I didn't realize I was missing something. So we're going to find a way to get my comments to me, hopefully, and we'll hope that I wasn't supposed to be building on things she said. My grade seems to say that I'm doing fine, which is a relief. I just wish I hadn't felt so annoyed about her not doing her job as a prof, since apparently she was and it was the technology that failed me.

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      So far...

      >> Tuesday, January 6, 2009

      So far today I have:

      • put dinner in the crock pot - another experiment
      • baked bread
      • contacted financial aid services for school
      • contacted academic advisors to see if I can get into another class that starts Monday
      • talked to Bert at Bethany (more info on our adoption site)
      • received mail from Heidi (YAY! Thank you!)
      • received my next Netflix movie
      • received my textbook for the class I'm already in for Monday
      • checked in to both of my current classes
      • answered questions on my school research community
      • watched video of Kaylee WALKING (click to watch on Flickr)
      • scheduled an appointment with a new vet (it's at 4:00, please pray! Our last scheduled vet visit didn't go so well)
      • finished two puzzles on jigidi.com (flash jigsaw puzzle site)
      Later today we will:
      • take the cats to the vet
      • eat the food I hopefully haven't destroyed
      • collapse
      • maybe watch a movie
      Tomorrow I will (theoretically):
      • go to Home Depot and BabiesRUs for some final child proofing items
      • finish child proofing the house
      • do some homework
      • try to contact my AA again

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      Random thoughts...

      >> Sunday, December 28, 2008


      Jungle Spook

      • I've never understood having to memorize names of people. I talked to someone who took the teacher certification test recently and she said all you really need to know (here in SC) are the people, who defined what theory, and write a bunch of practical application essays. But seriously, how many classroom teachers are going to be in the middle of a situation in which she needs to implement a theory she learned, and finds it absolutely necessary to know whether it was Locke or Plato or Addams? Names of theorists matter squat in the classroom when you're in a position to care about educational theory in a hurry. If you don't know the techniques, you can't apply anything you've learned.
      • It is December 28, and it's 72 degrees. I'm on the porch with my laptop, sitting on my chaise lounge with Spook, and my right arm is starting to sunburn. I really wish I could get used to this, but I just can't seem to manage yet.
      • Fireplace logs, of the pressed rectangle clean-burning kind, are fun because they're fast and easy, but is still missing the same elements we find missing in a gas fire: no crackle, no chasing down the embers that spit out onto the carpet, no pile of writhing coals to watch, no wood smoke smell. However, it also doesn't have the release of molds and allergens into the house or the potential to burn down the house quite as easily. I'm trying to decide if it's an acceptable compromise in light of those things.
      • I don't know if I ever mentioned, but the corn casserole worked great in the crock pot! I also had to make up my own green bean casserole recipe, since the can of mushroom soup was nasty. I think in the end it tasted great.
      • I hate shoes. And jeans. Above all, I hate popular fashion. The one pair of shoes whose shape looked like they really might have worked, I didn't even try on since someone in production had decided that plastering them with plastic Miley Cyrus faces was a good idea.
      • No news on the adoption front yet. Still haven't gotten a call for inspection scheduling. I emailed Bert yesterday and we'll see if she can't start making some waves.
      • My brother came down with Mono and stayed in bed over Christmas. At the same time, Kaylee got some sort of fungal infection rash all over her body that he calls Jungle Rot, and so far the only thing that's helping her feel better is smearing her with athlete's foot cream. But at least they're both on the mend now.
      • Lanse is wonderful. I had a rotten section of the day yesterday (note shoe comments), and he brought me food and built a fire for me and snuggled me and did all kinds of lovely things. I figured he was just concerned about my mood yesterday, but then he brought me coffee this morning. He's apparently just an all-around great guy.
      • I had a dream in which we were exploring a house we bought and lived in but somehow hadn't looked at it all yet. That was one really rockin' house. I should try to draw it. I miss my architecture program; it got lost in the move and now the company doesn't make it anymore, and doesn't even make a program that runs the file type, so now I have a couple thousand floor plans I can never look at. *sniff*
      • I have a paper and a discussion post to write today. I also have to have read the stuff about which I must discuss. Bah.
      • Finally, for your viewing enjoyment, Colin plays with the jingle mouse toy. It's a fuzzy, now really-beat-up toy mouse around whose tail we've tied a blue jingle bell. They all love it in turns. This is a wmv file, I don't know what you need to make it work. It's maybe two minutes long, I'm not sure. I hope you can see it... the back flip at the beginning is rather impressive.

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      About This Blog

      Life is about changes; transitions from one place to another, from one purpose to another, from one being to another. They say that the person you are today is a completely different person from who you were ten years ago and who you'll be ten years from now. So far, at the age of 33, I've had four major transitions in my life which redefined who I am. Two years into the results of the most recent transition I am again - still - exploring how God is shaping me. Over the next few months I hope to review my past and set goals for the future, and embrace the next adventure of rediscovering me.

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