Tomorrow we're heading up to Ohio for the dedication of my niece, Kaylee. She was born in February, Leap Day to be precise, but since my brother and s-i-l live in Washington state and all the rest of the family are East of the Mississippi, they waited to do the dedication at Rachel's church back home in Ohio. So we're off! Which is fantastic; given the distance, I doubt there'll be many times we'll get to be with Kaylee as she's growing up. It's still quite a ways from here to Ohio, but it's definitely better than Washington.
However, I find that I'm really freaking out about the trip. Here's why:
- The drive to Charlotte. We make this trip frequently, and know the route, but we also know from experience that it's flat out terrifying to be driving in blinding rain at 35mph on the interstate with flashers going and a semi truck behind you. We are currently experiencing sudden torrential downpours related to TS Fay.
- The drive from Charlotte to OH. For financial reasons, we're car pooling with my parents. For six and a half hours. I love my parents dearly, but sometimes the only reason we get along is because of the distance. And I'm not talking about two to four feet, which is what we'll be getting. Lanse has a Zen, so he can totally zone out on the drive; I have no music player, and no headphones, and reading in the car makes me carsick. It will be a very. Very. long drive.
- Rachel's family. I'm sure they're wonderful people, I've just never met them. Since we'll be relying on them for many things, this makes me worry. I suffer an overabundance of shortness, which also comes with other odd physical things, and you just never know when someone new will turn out to be a Stupid Person. (More on that in other post, maybe.) I know I shouldn't worry what other people think, but being new family, they do kinda matter.
- Kaylee. I was able to fly out to WA when she was a week old, and we hung out for a couple of weeks giving her mom and dad some rest. I love her dearly. However, she is now six months old, which is much different than six days old. I know she won't remember me. Children's reactions to me are very specific; either they know immediately I'm there to play, they are completely indifferent, or they're terrified because they know I'm not like everyone else. I am completely freaking out that Kaylee will be scared of me. I'm praying that somehow my two weeks of helping care for her as a newborn will make her know me, kinda like how animals can remember smells of people for years after the fact.
- Leaving the cats. I know that they're cats and all, and can handle three days alone just fine... but Kira's not been using the box, and Colin throws up all the time, and I don't want the house to be swarming with bugs. Plus, if something happens and TS Fay turns Northwards somehow, we won't be here to get them out. This is NOT predicted at all, but my mind is trying to come up with things to worry about, I think.
- The drive back. We didn't take two days off, so we'll be driving from OH to Charlotte with my folks, changing cars, and driving the rest of the way here. It'll be a total of 9.5 hours on the road, which makes for a very long day.
- Paying for it all. The hotel stay is covered for us by my folks, and as grateful as I am, I really hate feeling in debt to family. They paid for my crap for 20 years, it's not their job anymore. But there's still other stuff we have to cover, and I'm nervous about the bottom line.
I really hope that I'm doing that whole thing with molehills that people are so fond of. I wish someone could convince me that it's all really no big deal; I'm tired of feeling nauseated when I should be really excited.
Read more...
